Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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