Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
