You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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