But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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