so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
