I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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