he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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