Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
