I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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