So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
my poor anus
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
