Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
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yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
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Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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