I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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