Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
