I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
