it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We're facebook friends in real life
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
