i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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