you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
