did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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