ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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