Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize