you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The uberlube is also flammable
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
