the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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