now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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