everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
