I hate all girls vehemently.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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