okay pat passed out under dana's car
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
