finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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