I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
