I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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