Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize