i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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