NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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