you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
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just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
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And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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