I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
