i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
