I got chris browned last night
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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