your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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