Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
