Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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