We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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