are you so shy because you have an std?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize