I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
