so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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