Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
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