I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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