just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
