How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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