I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
He uses pillows to masturbate.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize