I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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