I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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