I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
