you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
