my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
