Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
