dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
