New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize