Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
